Monday, March 10, 2008

Maybe it is like this right before something cool happens

We spent most of our day, me and Judah, in the city. God, a city has energy to it, for sure, and Chicago's energy is energetic. Yep, i meant that. There is a steady, strong pulse to Chicago. The wind from the lake is its breath, cold and strong. Chicago is alive.

We ventured up to the skydeck of the Sears Tower which is an expensive thing to do, when one considers $21 parking for 65 minutes. I usually cringe about things like that, but i am learning to let go and enjoy the more expensive moments. You don't get anything for them if you fail to enjoy them.

I really enjoyed being with Judah in the city, being with him on the streets. We ran and whooped and hollered about being in Chicago, about being among its people and its crazy tall buildings. It was so nice to do it- to be with Judah and thrill him. To thrill him is pretty thrilling.

We watched the History Channel short on the construction of the Sears Tower and Judah enjoyed it. He also thoroughly appreciated our friend's classical guitar concert last month. Yeah, i am trying to say that he, my offspring, is smart.

Really, it doesn't strike me as smart when i see him do these things-- he strikes me as really old for four years, one month. At 48 lbs and 44 inches i believe that is above 95% -- out of 100 kids his age he is bigger than at least 95 of them. He is big and memorizes lots of things and tells me off sometimes.
A tiny teenager in lots of ways.

Judah, if you ever read this one day, I want you to know that i miss you as a baby. I miss your babyhood. seems a tragedy that it had to end. you are always so beautiful to me though, even now, i am always thinking what a gorgeous little jerk you are. That these days with you are the ones i would buy back at any price, though they are tedious and stressful in many, many ways and i know that it is best for all of us to keep evolving, still you tempt me to stay right where we are. It is a good thing i have no say in the matter...because you might be four forever.

So now that i got that out...

i'm off to bed.

4 comments:

Kristen said...

I've never met him, but I see him as an old soul, like you and Chris.

Becky said...

I love the phrase "gorgeous little jerk." Rings so true to my own experiences with Sam. I can see you guys jumping around the sidewalks.

Sandra said...

They do grow up so fast. When I look at Erin, I can barely remember those baby days. It seems impossible that she was ever a tiny dependent baby without an opinion. It's in stark contrast to the tall, beautiful, opinionated young lady she is now. Every stage is filled with it's on challenges and beauty. As much as I miss those sweet baby days, I wouldn't trade them for where she is now. It's amazing to see her branching of on her own. Everyday, she discovers more of who she is, and helps me to see it too. It's frustrating at times, but mostly it's amazing.

cv said...

Gorgeous Little Jerk is just perfect.

I'm so glad that you take the time to treasure him at this age. Video tape him and take some photos so that he can be tickled and you can be nostalgic when he is older.

I spend my money on experiences, I want to die knowing that I have lived.

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