Monday, April 5, 2010
Honestly, Mondays hardly bother me at all. Everyday seems like a Monday to me, in that I feel each day has a certain amount of potential and it is my daily responsibility to answer for each day's possibilities. I am so stern, so austere. I only see it because my therapist would ask me questions like, how do you love yourself? what? or he might point out that I, my actual self, needs some motivation and a break, that I can not expect to just harvest each day with no reward. Whatever. for all that therapy, I am not exactly different now. I still think like i did, but now I criticise my thinking about it. today is a monday. it is, in fact, full of possibilities. these possibilities are not a burden, they are a pleasure, they are a gift, right? right?
What if today is a gift? sometimes I literally plan things that will take a long time so that I can look forward to watching something and falling asleep. I want the day to be over.
and the weirdest thing about it is that, if I thought about it for one minute, I would know what makes me happy, what makes me tick, is doing otherwise.
Let me get lost in the library. let it rain. let me grab coffee. let me look at big black and white photography books, read some new philosophical theory or psychological study. it is easy for me to charm my life...why don't i ever do it?
today is a monday. watch me charm the hell out of it.