Wednesday, January 2, 2008


i have been a person who loves to make New Year's Resolutions. I love it.

Even when i am making simple changes, i'll wait for a sunday so that the change has a proper commencement.

But the turn of this year is different. I am a little spent on all the changes i have recently made to think that i can make some more changes.

though i would like to think so, but i can't even muster up the energy for a list.

and you know that all real sustaninable change begins with a list- nice penmanship increases the likelihood that it will come to pass, too.

No, I am not feeling change-y. i am not feeling like i can. or will.

i will probably just continue gaining weight.
and not finish my degree.
i will probably still be surrounded by my clutter twelve months from now
i will not have visited the chiropractor
nor the dentist
Judah will probably stay up past ten every night and
we'll eat from the frozen section
when we don't eat out
i won't exercise and then i will drop the ball on going to the Dells this summer because i refuse to get in a bathing suit
i won't save a dime or pay my bills on time.
i'll snack too much and blog too little.
i won't buy the Differin that my poor stressed out skin needs.

eeek! i have so much to do!

That said: some plans!

I will lose ten pounds by Febuary 14th. I will then lose another five by my birthday, March 13th. After i lose fifteen pounds, on my birthday, i will spend money on something nice for myself as a reward and a congratulations!
I will go out on a real date for Valentine's Day.

Judah will start going to bed on time again. On time is nine. NINE!!!
i will learn ten new recipes in five months.

I will visit the chiro and the dentist and, though i could definitely think of much more better ways to spend my time, i need to visit the gyno too. it is time.

i will love myself, trust myself, listen and learn myself.

change can happen even when I don't have the energy of a false sense of invincibility,


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