in Chicago

and i forgot how big this town is. really, when i stepped on to the train, which i took into the city, i felt provincial and broken down. one thing i noticed was how daunting i found the foreign advertisements. Somehow, the diversity and the ads for companies we don't have in Texas made me feel small.

But now i am in a friend's basement apartment, getting colder by the minute, visiting all my familiar sites on the web, and i feel secure again.

I am here to take my comprehensive examination for the Religion in American Life program. My test is at 9:00 a.m. in the Buswell. I suppose the rattling off of the details, to you, my friends, is my way of dealing with the test anxiety. i hope i pass, but i wouldn't be surprised if i did not. We'll focus on the hope, k?

i have been busy busy and tired. I worked a bit to come up with my per diem for this trip. When i get home i will have to work a good bit to make up for this week. hopefully, it comes together, the financial details. hopefully, i come together.

I have come up with a mission statement for myself, which i have been saying to myself almost everyday, sometimes more than once. the difference it has made! the saying of words i choose to describe the life I am working toward--they have been a talisman and an antiseptic, almost magical in their power to shape me anew, words i wrote and said and memorized are healing to myself.

i will have to tell you sometime what they are... do you have a life statement? a mantra? can i know it?

On track

I have been so busy doing the things i meant to do while i was here.

i have been studying, I have been working, I have been mothering.

and i have been doing little else. I watch precious little TV. I am missing Dexter and I will have to try to catch the finale of Project Runway at another time. Please, let it not be Kenley and please can it please be Leanne.

I have been about my own agenda and it feels really good.

As now Judah is home and i am starving, I'll have to write more later. possibly.

hope all is well. . .