Sunday, August 5, 2007

Mavis Beacon

it is late and i am tired and i cannot see the keys on the board and i am a horrible typist. It seems to be one of those things that everyone else gets and i do not, like i was absent that day and i missed the crucial typing lesson. I am finding out, at this moment, that i am better than i thought and still very bad indeed.

We are staying with friends in a very small space in a suburb of Chicago. I feel i am a burden, a leech and that is a horrid unpleasant feeling.

The further i get into my life here, the more unfamiliar the territory of emotions gets for me. I am sometimes happy, sometimes unreasonably tired, sometimes energetic and other times i get caught in a off-color mood. Change is hard i think, and we have had nothing of stability for what feels like forever now. I try not to expect my feelings to be all sameness and reliability, but that would be so nice right now.

i am behind on everybody else's life, i miss you girls.

6 comments:

aola said...

It is so hard to have to live with someone else.

Any prospects of getting your own place soon? - that will make your life better. Everyone needs their own space.

It is good to hear from you!!! But, would really like to hear more news :)

Becky said...

in my own leech phase --truly sucks, but hopefully only a few more days. thinking of you as my little world changes at a too fast pace.

cv said...

Change is always unsettling, and feeling that you are taking from someone is uncomfortable as an adult.

BUT, if your friend were in your position, you would help her...yes?

My life is an open book....take a look whenever you like!

All my best.

Kristen said...

Super irritated that we didn't get to talk a few days ago. (Still trying to figure out how the phones are going to work around here with J being at home.) Wanted to say I'm sorry. Let's plan something soon, you know, besides you moving to PDX.

anj said...

Change is hard. Beginnings are hard too. I think what you are doing is very brave.

Sandra said...

I've missed you Erica! In times like these, I always remember that little saying "This too shall pass." You'll be all the stronger, smarter, and more brave for having gone through it. I know it's never easy to see past the current situation, but just know it will come.
Be gentle with yourself.

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