Counting

It is 10 am ish. Judah left for school about two hours ago, and since then I have been doing some research. But turning my thoughts back to him, this morning, I feel so grateful. At eight years old Judah is a strong boy, with his own ever-renewing interests, an appetite for life, a witty sense of humor, and a highly sensitive emotional life. I can't believe the person he has become already. He is just gorgeous, big brown eyes and floppy red-tinged brown hair, milky skin. I am so grateful.

We found out, on Friday, that I am carrying a little girl. I knew it. It's too complicated to go into, but I knew that this baby would be a little girl and we are so happy. Her name is Julia Noelle. I love her so much already and cannot wait to see her little face. I'm in my 23rd week and I've hit a nice spot wherein I am sleeping pretty well and have lots of energy.

For the first time in a long time, Chris has weekends off. I love it. He loves it. Two days off in a row makes it so much easier to relax. Our Saturdays are getting to be exercises in leisure and we are getting good at it. This Saturday seemed especially long.

It is a virtue to give thanks in every season, but in this season, it is so easy to do.

Morning

Sometimes I wake up really early and I swear, I am a morning person. My head is clear and my attitude is great, if I can wake up at 6. If I wake up at 7 or 7:30, I am an entirely different person.

The day is full- today i will be meeting with my advisor to discuss a book on pentecostalism. It is such a familiar subject that, really, I have to come from the place of an insider/expert because if there is anything I know, it is what it means to be and how to be pentecostal. and somethings, you just don't forget.

I've slept well the last two nights and it makes All the Difference. I have been thrown way out of alignment and had crazy tension and aches in my muscles. I have had carpal tunnel that wakes me up. Here is hoping that some of the interventions I am trying- the chiropractor and the masseuse-- can see me through the next five months. six really. the month after you birth a baby is such a tough time.

I approach this day with gratitude, because in so many ways, it could have been entirely different, and I am thankful for the specific blessings I enjoy right now.

Be well.

Maybe

Well, it has been almost two years and during that time I never felt like posting. Now, all of a sudden, I do.

I live in New Jersey.
I am in a PhD program, in Religious Studies.
I am five months' pregnant.

So, my plate is full.

What is the difference between a full plate and a running-over cup? I suppose it depends... but when your plate is full of blessings and opportunities, I think the difference is perspective. I am, indeed, taxed. So much is expected of my mind at school and even more, is that possible?, more is needed from me in this pregnancy.

it is not an easy pregnancy.

But it is a healthy one. So I am grateful.

In all this commotion, it is so easy to get overly, crazy-making busy. It gets hard for me to hear my own thoughts! Which brings me here. I want to be here because I have no time to be and every need for it. Because life is moving fast, does not seem to be slowing down, and I don't want to miss it.

{Speaking of missing}
Being so far away from Texas, I miss it. I do not miss what I thought I might. I am not given to missing spatial places, I miss, more often, time periods in my life, that kind of thing. But lately, I miss texas. I miss earthy Texas, the slower, grassy parts, the ones with star-filled skies at night and crickets.
And I miss San Antonio, down by La Villita. I won't try to tell you why i miss that particular place, but i do.

I try to ground myself here, in my new surroundings, but-
I find it so hard to be quiet and centered. Does anybody find that comes easily? Tell me your tricks.

There is so much more to write, but I don't want to do so all at once. I want a month's worth of posts that make me notice...

If you are reading this, I hope you are well.