I am a mess this week in a really quiet and productive way. We are packing. I am running errands. I have done things the last few days that make me deeply proud of myself: things like getting the recalled part on my car door replaced. getting copies of judah's birth certificate. getting mail forwarded.
i have not gotten a job or a place to live and I have a week before i will be leaving the shelter of my townhome-- in which i am quite comfortable.
I am not too worried, but i think i should be. it is a lot for me to deal with. I think of Sandra in her home, i think of Becky in her home and I think that they have made it safely and that so will I.
Judah is with my parents and i miss him. I am, however, grateful for the space to process this move. it deserves processing. It is the continuation of a conversation I am having with God. I want to say my words, I want God to respond and i want to hear it. I do. Whatever is said, I want to hear.
I am not sure i would recommend the path I am on.
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4 comments:
Moving is always a strange experience; stressful, weird, exhilarating and cathartic all at the same time.
I hope that you have as few stresses as possible on your move. I think having Judah away for a week is a huge step toward that.
In the "almost" words of Gloria Gaynor, "You will survive! Hey! Hey!"
Just remember to not expect everything to be exactly the way you want it right away. I'm learning that it takes time.
The birth certificates, mail, all of the details will make the big change easier.
I'm glad you have some time to process, to imagine the next step and the one after that.
It's a horrible grand adventure, this life. Equal parts terrible and wonderful and we get them all.
I think keeping a sense of humor in times like this is key. :)
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